It was Australia day, and I decided to celebrate it in the typical Aussie spirit, by going to a beach. The weather was perfect. The temperature max 24 degrees Celsius, no sun, and raining most of the day. Well, you always have to look at the bright side of life. Usually, at this time of the year, we would have about 36 degrees Celsius, burning sun, people grilling themselves all over the beaches and crowds flowing wherever you look. Taking into account that we still have Covid, the chances of catching this disease would be very high, and I really don’t like to be sick. But by this weather, I was perfectly safe and I could fully enjoy my solitude (this sounds a bit lonely, I should probably say, enjoy my own company) on the 16km long walk.
I came to a place which, for the first time, I visited more than 14 years ago. It was just a few months after Andy left me. I was heartbroken, devastated and feeling hopeless, without seeing any light at the end of the dark tunnel I found myself in. It was raining and quite cool. I had a car, about 30 years old Mazda wagon which my boss allowed me to use. The car was in such terrible conditions, that it looked as if I stole it from the wreckers, but I didn’t care. I was grateful I had a vehicle that allowed me to escape the dark reality of my life and I could go to all these wonderful exotic places. That day I was sitting in the car blindly looking through the window towards the ocean. Tears were flowing down my cheeks like the drops of rain on the windscreen of my car. Suddenly someone knocked on my driver-side window. It was an elderly lady holding some chips/fries. I winded down my window while swiftly wiping tears off my face. “Would you like some chips? It’s too much for us, so you are welcome to have them” said the lady in a warm voice. “Thank you, but no, I’m not hungry” – I replied politely, trying to smile through the tears. “Are you sure? We really have too much, & if you don’t want, we will feed the birds” – continue the lady concerned. “I appreciate it, but no, thank you, I’m not hungry” I replied. I don’t know why I didn’t take the chips, I was so hungry. I hardly ate anything for a longer period of time. I was very skinny and I looked dreadful. Maybe I was too proud (or too ashamed) to admit (even to myself) that I was really struggling and needed help.
This was in the past. I struggled a lot, I fought countless battles, but I made it through and now I’m Australian by choice, I’m having a wonderful life, I’m living my childhood dream.
While I was walking along the shores I noticed this bent tree. I stopped for a second and smiled thinking to myself “You also didn’t give up. You adjusted to your environment and kept growing. Well done!” In some respect, this tree was an inspiration to me. It didn’t give up. Instead of crashing down and dying, it tried to support itself with its own branches, and so it built a wonderful arch over the footpath. It stayed strong and still flourishes in its own ways. So it is in life. Maybe life isn’t as we would like it to be, disasters happen and turn upside down our lives, but instead of giving up, we have to look at all these what we have and do the best of it. If it’s not as we wanted it to be, it doesn’t mean it’s bad. In fact, it could be even better than this what we planned for, maybe it gives us the chance to flourish in our own unique ways, and discover the true purpose of our life. We just need to keep going and never ever give up.
If I should give anyone any advice then it would be to believe in yourself and never ever give up. Don’t waste too much time on planning your life, because life never goes to plan, but always have dreams and never lose sight of your goals. When you go through hell, when life crashes you down, then get up & keep going. Yeah, it’s dreadful to be going through hell, but it’s even worse to get stuck there, so keep going. Never give up, and one day you will be living your dream too.
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